I grew up watching Adam West and Burt Ward thwart evildoers after school. Back then I would saunter into the living room and settle down in front of our JC Penney television to admire the collected demeanor of gentleman millionaire Bruce Wayne and his eager ward/sidekick as they unraveled the nefarious tapestry of evil that had been subtly stitched together with sinister subterfuge. (Apparently alliteration attracted audiences back then; or, if nothing else, it gave the dialogue a poetic quality.)
One of the most famous turns-of-phrase that came out of the dynamic duo of the mid-60s was Robin’s, “Holy ___, Batman!” This particular set of words arises hilariously often in strain reviews, so without further ado, here’s a small sampling of some of my favorites. Holy strain reviews, Batman!
Hybrid Cannabis Strains
Girl Scout Cookies
“Holy carp fish, batman. This is magic. Definitely gives you a floaty, yet energized feel. You feel it creeping up behind your eyes and in two shakes of a lambs tail, you’re high as goddamn ever.” – Anonymous
Fruity Pebbles
“Holy hand grenade of Antioch, Batman. Smoking this is like watching high speed film of a remote detonation. But a detonation of giggles and time slippage. Bring this to game-night at the beach. I did, and I’m very happy about that. Social, happy, very fast acting. The super-high phase came on within 5 minutes and lasted about 10-20 minutes. After words a really happy normal to low key high kicked in and took the wheel for around 3 hours. Two of us fell asleep during this time and three of us had energy to spare. A very solid night sleep followed for me.” – ChestyMcDeathrack
Chemdawg
“Holy space balls batman. I think we’ve got a winner right here. Toked a small bowl last after a month of FireOG and White Widow. Let me tell you I nearly tripped my balls out. I had a legit out of body experience lying in bed with my wife after smoking. Needless to say I couldn’t sleep. Headed down to TV land, Jay Leno’s new show is pretty good.” – jamtastic
Indica Cannabis Strains
Superman OG
“Holy sh*t Batman, I just found one of the newest to my Top 10!!! Dare I say to the coveted #1 slot?!? Honestly, I love ALL strains but you know the standouts and this strain STANDS out! When the description uses the word ‘pungent’, yep, it IS pungent and smokes the same. I usually cough during a bowl but the HIGH it totally worth it!! Definitely agree with many, this is NOT for beginners starting on meds like this but for everyone else, if you come across Superman, GET YOU SOME, you will not be disappointed!!! Believe it or not, this doesn’t really knock me out like others I know that have came across it but DAMN, I love the deeply euphoric, giggly, happy, relaxing high, one the best I’ve felt. Thank you GROWERS of this strain, your the BEST!!!” – dhlvisdrt
SFV OG Kush
“Holy amazing sleep, Batman! SLEEPIES!! This knocked my ass OUT – I haven’t slept in 2 days and this let me sleep for 7 hours straight, didn’t even move. Super important different between this ‘Kush’ and regular OG…. Smelled like pine, a bit pungent, woody, lemon/citrus, and a slight herbal scent with a little spicy kick. This OG Kush combination is an amazingly super light and smooth smoke! Packed 1/2 a bowl and it tasted like sweet flowers, pine, dankish, and herbal, like tearing open a packet of tea. Went straight to my head and my face was nuuuuumb. Helped my spine amazingly well 5/5, took my kidney stone pain down to 30%, felt cold spots in my back where it hurts, helped with my tendon pain 3/5, and a little bit of nerve pain 2/5 – noticeable enough. No munchies, I passed out – definitely a night time use, great for insomnia. Hits heavy, so I wouldn’t use this as a beginner unless you have insomnia – this is your golden ticket!” – Midnyte003
G-13
“uuuuuuhhhhh…. I don’t remember what I was doing. or anything at all for that matter. where am i, who am i. it’s about like that. lol. by far the best escape from reality I’ve ever experienced personally if u wanna sit back and chill and just not give a shit about a freaking thing period simply cause u can’t remember a freaking thing. this one is an absolute must try to believe what it can actually achieve for you. review does no justice cause it simply cannot be explained in words properly. has to be experienced personally to know. I just got my first experience with it and will definitely be getting again any and every time I have chance. HOLY MOLY COW BATMAN!!!!” – 247kushpuffer
Sativa Cannabis Strains
“Holy high, Batman! This is some amazing product! Awesome high, good upper, and I’m not a space cadet either! Perfect for a ‘getting shit done but still would like to smoke’ day.” – Anonymous
Sour Diesel
“Holy racing heart beat and heart pounding out of my chest batman! Everyone has the same experience.” – Anonymous
East Coast Sour Diesel
“Holy Batman! This thing is like a triple dose of espresso for me! Makes me so hyper I cannot sit still LOL.! Energetic for sure, good for picking up the afternoon blehs. Also gives you an appetite. I don’t think I’ll smoke this at night or I’ll be sleepless!” – HappilyPainFree
Alaskan Thunder Fuck
“Holy sweet jumped up sativa, Batman. This has to be the most aptly named strain yet. As powerful and as potent as being screwed by an angry Thor. Good if unique taste, rather a sweet note. Has good legs, at 5 to 6. Definitely worth getting when possible. Extraordinary body effects for a sativa. Get some and have intimate relations with the God of Thunder today!” – doobwalker
“Leaping caribou, Batman! If this bud doesn’t embody the cold, rugged, wintery majesty that is the Alaskan wilderness, then I dont know what does. With notes of pine trees and freedom, this kush is optimum for white water rafting, eating a raw salmon, fighting a bear, or a combination of the three. Would ride a dog sled for miles in the dead of winter to get ahold of this weed. As in the words of the Eskimos this is some ‘ˈtʃaknaχ ˈhwaʁiχ’.” – wespeterson24
Lead image: Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation
