This year’s election has been known by many names (most of which are profane, or at least not suitable in polite company). So, with Election Day upon us, I can find no more suitable way to cope with the current race, the verbal shrapnel that has come to define it, and/or the candidates themselves, than to list off a few strains with “political” applications worth looking into.

Cherry Pie is the “shock and awe” strain. As you sit on your couch “shocked” and/or “in awe” at the ridiculous spectacle that is the 2016 US Election, Cherry Pie will keep your mind alert while adhering you firmly to your seat, unable to flail with rage or elation over the electoral outcome. Enjoy Cherry Pie if you’d like to consciously object or advocate without the trouble of actually using your body.

Jack Herer is for the impassioned political advocate. If you want to beat your chest and take to the street, this popular sativa will get your blood pumping and keep your mind clear so you can fashion all manner of chants, political dance routines, and picket formations. Enjoy some Jack Herer to bring power to the people!

OG Kush is for the spent political enthusiast who just wants this election to be over. Its midlevel sedation and pleasant euphoria will mute the incessant talking heads and allow you to find peace in the uncertainly that lays before us all. OG Kush is the boon of the thoughtful and well-informed. Cheers to turning down the madness.

Pineappple Super Silver Haze is for builders. If your political party won or lost, PPSH will help you draft a new constitution in the image of your ideal country or fill you with an adequate amount of motivation to begin your trek to the Canadian border. Either way, Pineapple Super Silver Haze is for the political reactionary.

Purple Urkle and Yeti OG are for those that just want to sleep through this maelstrom of political ambiguity. If you’d like to relax your mind and body and shrug off the anxiety-inducing ideologies of the political caricatures that have vacuumed the air right out of the political process, these strains are for you.